Monday, January 17, 2011

SPECIAL EDITION: Tales from Public transportation. It involves an old lady's whoopsydaisy and the tomfoolery that followed

(This story happened about 30 min ago. This is what I wrote as the event went down)

So I was on the train coming home and the train just left the first stop and was off to the second. The crazy thing happened in the middle. I was sitting in my seat about to doze off and I see some old lady say "stop" and the train stopped and well she got her wish. The train stopped and the old lady slammed into the pole. But it happened in that olde ppl show motion. Then the old lady was going off on the T driver like " why wouldn't you stop?" "Stop means stop"... ( it sounds like something   the prosection in a rape case would say) honestly The whoopsydaisey the old lady took didn't look that bad, but then again she does have those olde tyme bones. The driver offered to call for help but this granny wasn't having it. No sirree. She's gonna file a complaint. I hate the mbta, but imma have to side wit them, if the old lady wanted to stop she shoulda tapped that "stop tape shinamajig"....for the remainder of the trip she kept rubbing her shoulder and asking the lady next to her to write a bunch of stuff down. She even attempted to try and attempt some punch(with her fragile olde bones it looked pretty pathetic) That driver better hope that alzhimers kicks in soon, otherwise it looks pretty messy. UPDATE: the old lady called me over and wanted to thank me and ask me to be a witness. So I gave her my contact info. I kinda had no choice, i was one of 3 ppl on the train. ( me, the old lady who fell, and the haitian lady who caught her)She then proceeded to thank me and what she said was just funny as hell to me. She said, " oh that driver must be on drugs, he looks like he's from the boondocks. He looks like he's a bear wrestler. Not a white bear because there are no white bears, but a black or brown bear wrestler" she then showed me her shoulder asking does it look fractured. I didn't really see anything, so I used my Dr. Lilly expertise to guess it was a bruise. Then I needed an excuse to get up so I could finish writing this so the next stop I gave some random lady my seat. Then the old lady thanked me again and said," you gave that other lady your seat, your a real gentleman, your a keeper, don't lose my number" Sounds like a creepy compliment to me. Then she gave me a banana, which I tried to say no to, but she kept forcing me to take it. She then handed me a bunch of dirty used napkins to wipe my hands with. She then said " think of me as your mother"....I took the banana but I hate wasting food so I'll give it to the first homeless person I come across. My life is all kinds of interesting..

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