Wednesday, January 26, 2011

WTF of the day: LAdy Gaga is making a perfume that smells like cumzees and blood...jeez

So I was reading and so lady Gaga is making a fragrance that she says smells like "blood and semen"...This broad really seems to want attention huh? Who would buy a fragrance that smells like the goings on of a crackhouse? I wouldnt even by that for my worst enemy because if they come around me im not trying to smell the horrid combo of blood and cumzees. Why cant she make it smell like flowers or apples or something normal? NOOO instead she wants to have a perfume that is The first 48 in a bottle...smh. I am all about being different, but jeez she needs a dose of average. If anyone buys this, they deserve to get one POW, right in the kisser!
 The article is right here http://fashionista.com/2011/01/gagas-fragrance-will-reportedly-smell-like-blood-and-semen/



Why I have beef with Haitian Cab drivers

I cant stand Haitian cab drivers...SCREW Em. I have had very bad experiences with them and the thing is I never been in a cab my entire life. This is the big event that started my beef with Haitian Cab drivers. Anyway this story takes place when I was in 7th grade. I had just been able to get back on the school bus. Prior to that I was suspended off the bus for having water balloons and throwing them at people. So anyway I'm getting off the bus. You know how when the bus lets kids off, that flashing stop sign comes out, and that is supposed to tell cars on all sides to stop and wait till the kids cross the street? Well this retarded Haitian cab driver didnt really get the idea of the flashing stop sign, and decided he had more important things to do then wait for a couple kids to safely cross the street. Anyway I get off the bus and start to cross the street and I see a cab coming right at me. I quickly jumped out the way, just in time too. Then without even stopping the driver made a quick turn and sped down my street. I wish I had a rock to throw right at his cab, but I didnt. So yeah the main reason I have beef with HAitian cab drivers is one of them almost ran me over. After that I had minor altercations with them either cutting me off randomly while I drive or just being stupid behind the wheel. Dont get it confused I have no problems wit Haitians, but once they get behind the wheel of a cab, they seem to get possessed by something...As far as I see it my beef is completely justified.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

THE JETS LOST!!!!!!!!! :) HIP HIP HORAY!!!!!!!!!

I am so ampted!!! Although I hate the Steelers, I hate the Jets more and Im so happy to see them lose. :) I guess its hard to play football with pads and a big ego lol. The Jets won their superbowl last week, and thats as far as they are gonna go. Welcome back to reality Jets fans, your team stinks. I know your saying, " but we beat the Patriots" and I say yeah, but what do you have to show for it? No AFC championship, No Super Bowl ring, nothing. All you have to remember the game is Bart Scott spazzing out in his interview lol....SCREW THE JETS, im so happy they lost :) That being said the Packers are gonna take it this year


So Update to the Old lady's whoopsydaisy story

So today she gave me a call. It couldnt of come at a worser time. At that time I was cleaning the bathroom. I saw a number I didnt recongize and I figured it had to be her. So I picked up and said hello, and little did I know that was gonna be one of 5 words I would say throughtout the entire 15 min phonecall. Anyway she told me thank you again and said I was her gaurdian angel, and how she went to the ER and she found out she had a broken collarbone. I was typing while she was talking. This might of been the most epic phonecall of 2011. The only way someone could possibly top this if some one calls me and tells me that they are pregnant with my baby (which would NEVER happen) or if terrorist call and tell me they have my freedom hostage (which would NEVER happen). Anyway since im kinda lazy ill just copy and paste what I typed as the actual phone call went down. Keep this in mind the entire phone call was 15 min.

"shes still going......and going......., and she told me when i have a graduation, she would take me out to eat (oh boy... :/ ) now shes telling me about the history of mlk day and how shes a democrat, and now shes thinks i have a contact with obama.....and now shes telling me about how she hates republicans.....i wanna hang up, but that would be rude....now shes telling me all her personal idelogoies.......and shes telling me about the history of the cia......and now shes giving me a history lesson.....now shes talking about nixon and the pentagon papers.... jeez this lady needs some friends......now shes talking about vietnam.....now shes talking about taxes......now shes telling me how she came from germany in 1952 during the cold war and how the us troops helped her out, and about how there was marshal law, and how the troops gave her chocolate....and now shes talking about the mafia.....i only said 3 words in this conversation............no
w shes crying reminiscing about martin luther king jr.......and its done.......she started crying and told me "if people are republican or right wingers stay away" i wanted to tell her i was one just to mess wit her, but shes crying so that would be mean....(FYI I am an independant/political atheist)" 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

So i just got robbed earlier today, but Im still here (God is good)

So I was on my way home from school. Im tired as hell. So anyway I got off the train and I was on my way home. All of a sudden these two dudes are walking besides me. I think nothing of it. Then one of them ask if I have a smoke. I tell them no i dont and keep it moving. Then the tall guy wearing all red with bad teeth looks at me and ask me "where Im from?" Since I live in the hood Im privy to these shenanigans and dont answer because I know that it might lead down a bad road. Then he comes in front of me, and his friend comes behind me. The guy in red then flashes the gun on his waist and tells me , "Give me everything". I then give him my mp3 player, which ironically stinks anyway. Also the funny thing is I was listening to one of the P4CM sunday sermons, so if the dude gets saved then at least something else good came out of it lol. So anyway he ask me do I have anything else, so I said my itouch and gave it to him. For those of you who read my blog you know the story about my itouch and how its pretty much broken, not to mention I have a password on it. He then ask me do I have cash, I say no. Then he says dont lie to me. So I gave him the little 8 dollars I had in cash. He then says "good looks" and walks off. In my opinion that might of been the dumbest robbery EVER, i mean he got nothing. The only thiing that might be useful is the 8 dollars in cash, other than that everything is passworded up. God is beyond good. Im still alive. I managed to keep them distracted with my itouch and mp3 player, that I used my wit and kept my phone. I also got my wallet (with my debit card), my macbook, and my textbooks still on me. An ipod and mp3 player are replaceable (not to mention I moved EVERYTHING from them over to my mac last week, just in case i should ever lose it)...So in the end I got robbed, but Im still alive, didnt lose anything really worth it, and most importantly am still alive.. God is Good

Monday, January 17, 2011

SPECIAL EDITION: Tales from Public transportation. It involves an old lady's whoopsydaisy and the tomfoolery that followed

(This story happened about 30 min ago. This is what I wrote as the event went down)


So I was on the train coming home and the train just left the first stop and was off to the second. The crazy thing happened in the middle. I was sitting in my seat about to doze off and I see some old lady say "stop" and the train stopped and well she got her wish. The train stopped and the old lady slammed into the pole. But it happened in that olde ppl show motion. Then the old lady was going off on the T driver like " why wouldn't you stop?" "Stop means stop"... ( it sounds like something   the prosection in a rape case would say) honestly The whoopsydaisey the old lady took didn't look that bad, but then again she does have those olde tyme bones. The driver offered to call for help but this granny wasn't having it. No sirree. She's gonna file a complaint. I hate the mbta, but imma have to side wit them, if the old lady wanted to stop she shoulda tapped that "stop tape shinamajig"....for the remainder of the trip she kept rubbing her shoulder and asking the lady next to her to write a bunch of stuff down. She even attempted to try and attempt some punch(with her fragile olde bones it looked pretty pathetic) That driver better hope that alzhimers kicks in soon, otherwise it looks pretty messy. UPDATE: the old lady called me over and wanted to thank me and ask me to be a witness. So I gave her my contact info. I kinda had no choice, i was one of 3 ppl on the train. ( me, the old lady who fell, and the haitian lady who caught her)She then proceeded to thank me and what she said was just funny as hell to me. She said, " oh that driver must be on drugs, he looks like he's from the boondocks. He looks like he's a bear wrestler. Not a white bear because there are no white bears, but a black or brown bear wrestler" she then showed me her shoulder asking does it look fractured. I didn't really see anything, so I used my Dr. Lilly expertise to guess it was a bruise. Then I needed an excuse to get up so I could finish writing this so the next stop I gave some random lady my seat. Then the old lady thanked me again and said," you gave that other lady your seat, your a real gentleman, your a keeper, don't lose my number" Sounds like a creepy compliment to me. Then she gave me a banana, which I tried to say no to, but she kept forcing me to take it. She then handed me a bunch of dirty used napkins to wipe my hands with. She then said " think of me as your mother"....I took the banana but I hate wasting food so I'll give it to the first homeless person I come across. My life is all kinds of interesting..

Sunday, January 16, 2011

This was a heartbreaker

Im am totally heartbroken and disappointed at the game today. I was so ampted for a Pats win, but i guess you cant always get what you want. I talked so much trash and now I have to put my foot inside my mouth *no pun intended* That being said I HATE THE JETS. I hate the Steelers almost as much, so I guess Im rooting for Rodgers, Matthews and the Packers to take it all... That being said if you think imma stop talking trash about the Jets because of the Pats shellacking you are highly mistaken.....The Pats can do it again last year. Besides im in Boston. We might not have a championship from the Pats, but we still have the Soxs(who got a nasty lineup), Bruins( who are pretty good), and the Celtics( who do well regardless)...So im hopeful. Until then SCREW THE JETS.

* I hope LT trips over a banana peel and breaks his ankle
*I hope Braylon Edwards is doing the dougie in the lockeroom, and does it so wrong that he tears something in his arm...
*I hope some random border patrol guy accidentally thinks Mark Sanchez is illegal and takes him back across the border, and he cant get back into America
*I hope Rex Ryan takes one wiff of his wifes stinky feet and goes into a coma.
*I hope one of Antonio Cromarties Baby mommas get pregnant and the one who knocked her up was the Patriots mascot
*I hope next time one of the coaches from the Jets sideline decides to stick his knee out, that some ref just looks at him and kicks him as hard as he can in the other knee (3 stooges style)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

My algebra teacher: move over superman, we have a real hero coming through!!!!

This story is fairly recent. It happened a few months ago sometime in my first semester of college. It was in my 9:00 am algebra class, and we were doing something graph related( if I remember correctly) anyway all of a sudden a bunch of people in our class starting getting these text messages. These text messages were those emergency text messages from the school. In it, we were told to stay in our class and make sure the doors were closed. Btw let me quickly explain the emergency txt messages. After all these school shootings like virgina tech and stuff, schools have adapted this emergency txt message thing to keep everyone aware and ultimately save lives...anyway back to the story. So the message said lock the door. My teacher aka the greatest hero of ALL time decided to OPEN the door, and keep it WIDE OPEN for the rest of the class. My classmates and I all had "WTF" looks on our faces. Some of us were so overwhelmed by our teacher's heroic actions that we couldn't contain our laughter. None of us knew what the hell was going on. We didn't know if there was a school shooter going around or what, and it didn't help that the emergency messages we got wernt specific. Shortly after class finished, we later found out that the thing was just a drill. The thing is NO ONE knew it, so if there was a school shooter my class might if been the first to go due to my teachers amazing heroic deeds. He pretty much bought us all potential one-way tickets to heven(or in some cases hell). You can take the avengers, justice league, and every other hero you can think of and in the end none of them compare to the amazing and witty heroics of Mr. Dubow (my algebra teacher)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My quick opinions on the shooting in AZ

A couple days ago a gunman (with a possible accomplice) attempted to kill a United States Representative. He ended up killing 6( which included a federal judge and a little girl) and injured many others (including U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords) This act is horrible and retarded. It has come out in the media that the shooter is part of the "Tea Party" movement. Let me clear something up. I talked about this in one of my earlier post. There are two types of Tea Party movements. There is the one started by Ron Paul that sole purpose is peaceful demonstration against Obama's taxes and other stuff like ending the Fed. Then on the other side you have the "Tea Party" movement led by crazy Republicans like Sarah Palin and Glen beck, which is filled with a bunch of racist and ignorant people. The sad thing is most people dont know the difference and this ignorance is leading to the demonization of the entire Tea Party movement. Anyway back to the main situation. The shooter Jared Lee Loughner attempted to assassinate this representative over her stance on the HealthCare Bill. I dont like the bill as much as anyone, because we as a country cant afford it, but Im not gonna pick up a gun and shoot my state rep. We still have the right of peaceful protest, and if you dont like someone's policies use nonviolent tactics to get your point out. By going on this mini shooting spree, this retard ruined his case. There is no justification for shooting a 9 year old girl. She had absolutely nothing to do with anything, an yet got caught in the crossfire. The shooter is a mentally sick man who not only aligned himself with the Sarah Palin "Tea Party" movement, but it has also come out that he has some ties to a white supremacy group. This guy is covered in issues. I heard that he was obsessed with mind control, and even took part in some crazy satanic rituals. This guy deserves to be given the needle for the killing of the girl alone. Also on the flip side, I have a feeling that the Obama administration will try to "capitalize off this tragedy". One of Clinton's former advisors Robert Shapiro, is quoted as saying , “The bottom line here is that Americans don’t believe in President Obama’s leadership,” said Shapiro, adding, “He has to find some way between now and November of demonstrating that he is a leader who can command confidence and, short of a 9/11 event or an Oklahoma City bombing, I can’t think of how he could do that.”  This is shocking, but I won't rule it out. Also another dangerous thing that comes out of it is it continues to keep people fighting about this bs left/right nonsense. People are too consumed by sides, that they are fighting with each other, which then leads to more division in this country. At this time we cant afford to be fighting with each other, we should be uniting. The left and right is like WWE. It looks like they're fighting but at the end of the day its all fake, but we as the spectators believe it to be true and continually fight with each other. The last thing I found very dangerous is some politicians are coming out saying that we should get rid/ make really big changes to the first and second amendment. Those amendments is what makes us different from all the other countries in the world, and for them to be stripped away from us due to the actions of some mentally ill psychopath is ignorant and stupid....
These are just my initial thoughts. They are a bit disorganized. I need to do some more research, but I have come across some interesting articles though:


http://www.eutimes.net/2011/01/top-us-federal-judge-assassinated-after-threat-to-obama-agenda/
http://www.politico.com/blogs/joshgerstein/0111/Judges_final_actions_key_to_federal_charge_for_his_murder.html
http://www.infowars.com/emergency-politicians-call-for-end-of-1st-2nd-amendments/

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Inside Kevin's Journal: Why I dont think the comedy industry is right for me

A lot of people think im funny or at least mildly entertaining and say things like "you should be a comedian." Although thats a great compliment I don't thing that the business is right for me. I LOVE stand up comedy. My itunes is full of albums from bill burr, carlin, attlell, rock, chappelle, iglesias, prior and many more. I go to the Wilbur theater to see a couple live shows like Jim Norton, Bill burr and a few others. Im a child of comedy. I love it. My personal style is a mix of sarcastic, dark, racial, observational, and random humor. I just don't think that the comedy industry is right for me. There are a bunch of great comedians who are struggling. I watched this great documentary I AM COMIC a while back, and It was crazy how tough it is to make it in the actual industry now. Also on top of that there are a bunch of great comedians who get destroyed by the fame and most of all themselves. Its kinda like that joke that Roarshach told whatshisname in watchmen. About the person going into see the shrink because they were depressed and the shrink recommended that they go see this famous clown. Only to realize that the guy he's talking to is the clown. That just isn't me…Then again who knows what the future may bring. I might end up doing comedy as a side job. I mean I think I have what it takes to be a comedy writer. Like a neal brenian (writer on chappelle show and chris rock show) type. Or I might end up doing a Greg Giraldo move and getting my degree first and then get into comedy. Who knows…..I just know that I want to be successful and not some dry corny person


Please help me spread the word...of kkk (kevinskewlkorner)

I need  some help with getting the word out there. Im doing pretty good, but it could be so much better. I have a bunch of stupid plugs I used, and feel free to copy and paste them to get the word out... Please and thank you :)
__________________________________________________________________________
1.

Man: Honey I want a divorce. Not only you cant cook, but you also dont share my interest. I likehttp://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/ and if u dont like it leave
Wife: -tears- Ok, ill check it out, give me one more chance
-days later-
Therapist: So you guys have found a common ground to save your marriage, what is it?
Both: http://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/


2.

stranger: hey little girl come in my car, i got candy
girl: my daddy told me not to talk to strangers
stranger: i got toys
girl: unless you got something i could checkhttp://www.kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/ no deal

stranger: ummm..
girl: im callin the cops
-min later-
cop: little girl you did a great thing. hope u learned a lesson. Any1 who doesnt kno what kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com is, might be a pervert


3.

Store clerk: thatll be 19.95
lady: all i have is 15$ and some crumpled up food stamps
clerk: sorry that wont work
lady: but i have something better than$,itshttp://www.kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/
clerk: you should of said that earlier you silly goose. Your stuff is on the house


4.

‎-Arab guy sitting on plane on his laptop-
some guy: OMG WE HAVE A TERRORIST ON THE PLANE!!!!
arab guy: terrorist? i was born in Minnesota
sg: yeah right? what are you looking at Osama?
ag:http://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/ and stop calling me that
sg: you like that site too?!? OMG NO WAYY.We are gonna be best pals
ag: ummmm yeahhhhh, your weird
(http://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/ making friendships everywhere)


5.

Border Patrol: Freeze!hands up!
Juan: but sir..
BP: Why did u run in2 the US, back to mexico& back2 the US?
Juan: because i left my laptop at home in mexico and im missing out on my favorite site http://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/
BP: Why didnt you say that earlier!? I LOVE THAT SITE!, i guess thats a good excuse, I thought you had drugs or something.
(http://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/ reaching beyond borders)


6.

Kkkguy: Hey you nigger get to the back of the bus
Joe: Look i am not ignorant so therefore that insult doesnt apply to me,
kkkguy: Shut up u-
Kevin: Hey u can u keep it down, im trying to look @http://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/in peace here!
Kkkguy and Joe: What the hell is that?
Kevin: The greatest blog off ALL TIME u silly geese
Kkkguy: After seeing that blog I wanna apologize2 joe& fight for civil rights


7.

Earl: Mommy some kids took my lunch money
Mother: ummmm yeah, because im a vegan hippy im gonna tell u not to hit them back, but what I will tell u is show themhttp://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/
Earl: but mom
Mother:dont but me mister, cut the jibber jabber
(days later)
Earl:The kids who took my money gave it back and even doubled it and now we're bffs
(http://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/ saving lives1 at a time)


8.

Bill (holding stomach): AHHHHH my wife left me and im having a heart attack someone help!
Joe: Sorry cant help with that, but what i cant help you find the greatest blog of all time
Bill: you dont mean?
Joe: Yes, http://kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com/
Bill grabs blackberry and looks at blog, then suddenly collapses
Joe: I guess he died doing something he loved
End scene

Inside Kevin's Journal: A work in progress

If Jesus was here today, I can honestly say he would be disappointed with the way I m living. I don't talk to him like he's a friend, instead I treat him like an ATM and only come to him when I need something. So in other words im a golddigger. I live the way I want and pretty much call him when I need a bailout. One little example (out of many) is while I am currently working on stoping my swearing, I used to swear without a care of who was around, and laugh it off like it was nothing. How can I say I'm a Christian when Im called to be different, and always seem to act like everybody else? Its like sometimes I am embarrassed to rep christ like that, cuz I don't wanna be looked at as "high and mighty". I worship God in church, but outside I act the exact opposite. I treat God like some dudes treat their broads. In other words Im cool wit them in the house, but never really take em out. If I was Jesus I'd be completely ashamed of that kid Kevin Lilly, and yet he's not. He gave me so many second chances its crazy. He blocked so much from getting to me. There are times when I could have been killed, seriously hurt or ect, but God somehow showed me mercy and grace when I absolutely didn't deserve it. While running in this race called life I tripped up, and didn't fall. I sometimes thought it was my own power that I didn't fall, even though when I tripped it was God who somehow caught me before I hit the ground. The first step to change is admitting you have a problem, and I have so many it'll be hard to count lol. That being said God somehow forgives me, loves me, gave me second chances, didn't let me die, didn't let me fall, didn't let me fail, kept me safe, kept my family out of harms way, provided when the odds were heavily against me, and been there when I felt like no one can understand me. He's the best friend I can ever ask for, and absolutely don't deserve. I can honestly say that there are only a dozen people I would ever take a bullet for, and yet Jesus died and stuff for everyone. I can never picture myself doing that, especially for the people I cant stand. He's a bigger man than I could ever be, and for that I have to say both Thank you and Im sorry

- Sincerely 
A work in progress

Saturday, January 8, 2011

What Im Reading




The stupidest thing I ever did for two dollars


I have done some stupid stuff in my lifetime, but this easily tops the list. One time I was chillin doing something in my house and I hear my younger brothers laughing in their room. I walk in and my brother is trying to get my other one to try these peppers he got from his job. My other brother wasnt having it and pretty much refused. Then he asked me to try it. I said no, so we had a bet. For a whopping amount of 2 dollars. All I have to do is eat the pepper and I get the money. Sound easy enough right? So thats what I did. I ate it, and i collected my money. I didnt feel anything. 20 seconds later im running and screaming around my house. (it was embarrassing for a ninja of caliber to act like that). The pain was so intense.My taste-buds felt like the Vietnam jungle after they put napalm and agent orange on it. I drank 4-5 cups of water, had 2 strawberry milks (cuz regular milk sucks) and I even ate a piece of bread...none of it seemed to work. Long story short my mouth proceeded to burn for the next 15-20 min, and no matter what I tried that painful tingling didnt go away. I later found out that I had eaten the 2nd hottest pepper in the world, the Red Savina. In the top 10 list of retarded things Kevin has done, this is hands down is in the top 3.

Friday, January 7, 2011

We are definitely living in the end times

We always here that Jesus is comming back, but by looking at what has been happening in the world recently i am convinced that we are in the last days. In Matthew 24 Jesus talks about the signs that prove it, and I will post what he said and show modern examples of what hes talking about:

As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. “Tell us,” they said, “when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?”

4 Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. 5 For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many.(



6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars (The USA is already in war with Afganistan, We still have conflict in Iraq, and there is talks of wars with Yemen, North Korea, and Iran. The Pentagon is planning on deploying 1,400 more troops overseas. Also with rumors of wars here are just a few links showing possible and realistic rumors of wars
- http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/12/british-feared-israel-nuke-arabs/
- http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.68f5e94c91d2e5bac59427d81c150711.671&show_article=1
- http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/8229789/China-preparing-for-armed-conflict-in-every-direction.html
)

, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom (Goes back to the wars and rumors of war passage). There will be famines and earthquakes in various places( Remember back in 2010 how we had earthquakes everywhere from Hati, Iran, Japan, Chilie, India, China, Turkey, ect? This year we have already had two earthquakes so far). 8 All these are the beginning of birth pains.

9 “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me ( Just google Christian persecution, or just look at the recent church bombing in Egypt that happened earlier this year. )10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

(see what I mean? its creepy huh. The signs are pretty much right in front of our face. Thats why its even more important to accept Jesus and live right... Oh btw can you believe that the department of homeland security thinks people who think this way are " domestic terrorist"? No bull. In a recent report from DHS on "rightwing extremism" they say that anyone who believes or are some of the following are indeed "domestic terrorist":
*you are a U.S. military veteran returning from duty in Iraq or Afghanistan
*you believe in "end times" prophecies
*you believe in state or local authority
*you are against abortion
*you are against illegal immigration
*you believe in the 2nd Amendment
*you criticize any of the free trade agreements the U.S. has made
*you are against same-sex marriage
*you believe that an economic collapse is happening
*you think that the U.S. may declare martial law someday
*you believe that the U.S. is creating detention camps
*you stockpile food, ammunition or weapons
*you believe that illegal immigrants are taking away American jobs
*you believe "New World Order" conspiracy theories
Its crazy, but its true. I personally believe in most of these things. Its surprises me how a country built upon "freedom" is become such a "groupthink" type of society)

One of the Greatest Videos of recent memory



I saw this video the other day and I was dying. It was hilarious. The fact that he had to post this up as punishment is just too funny. This mIght be one of the funniest videos I seen in recent memory. But I have to give the uncle or whatever credit. We have to many wannabe gangster/tough guys now that could use a good spanking. There are some kids who are as young as 14 who are already strapped (for those who dont understand my hood vernacular, strapped means to carry a gun) Spankings suck (especially for this kid cuz the whole world sees it), but at the end of the day they make you better. I got spanked many times in my younger days, and I could honestly say that it made me a better person. I would easily take a spanking from my parent, over a beating from a cop and a raping of an inmate ANYDAY.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Why I have beef with City Year


The title might have some of you like "Whoa", but Im serious. Let me preface this by saying not all people that work for city year are annoying, but the people in this particular story are. This story takes place in 2nd or 1st grade. I kinda forgot which because I had the same teacher and same classmates for both. Anyway there were two days out of the school week when a few volunteers from City Year came to each classroom and helped out. I dont remeber their names but one was a Puerto Rican guy and a White chick. So on this day we were doing math. I think we were doing something with blocks if I remember correctly. Anyway I look over and over by the window I see this butterfly. I catch it and show it to the City Year people, who then show it to my teacher. My teacher, Ms. Wolf is an annoying retarded old hippy broad. So a few min later I just kill the butterfly. There was no method to my madness, but I just squashed it. So then the CIty YEar saw me, and instead of letting it fly (no pun intended) they people started freaking out and snitched on me to Ms. Wolf. They were acting like I tourtured and beat up some handicap kid. She then pulled me aside and gave me some lecture (her breath smelled so bad). She then got on the phone and called my parents. She then snitched on me to my parents about what I did, and then after she was finished she got off the phone, with a stupid smile she walked over to me and told me "your gonna be in so much trouble".
.....Lucky for me she was talking to my Dad and he could careless. As a matter of fact he started laughing as soon as I got into the car. And that is why I have beef with City Year. They snitched on me

Sunday, January 2, 2011

BONUS STORY: Why my mom is amazing

I love my parents. This particular story is about my mom. Over the summer my family and I went to Trinidad. After that vacation we were on the airplane back. The original plan was we would take a plane from Trinidad to Houston, then have a 5 hour layover till the flight back to Boston. The flight from Trinidad started pretty good until sometime mid-flight there was a bit of a sitcheation. There was a lady two rows back having a seizure. At that moment the flight attendants made an announcement for any passengers with an emergency background to come help assist this woman. My mom was one of the three, because after all she is a nurse. It was her, a firefighter for FDNY and a doctor. They were all working to help the lady, and came to the realization that she needed a little more medical attention than the plane can actually provide. The flight attendants talked to the pilots and they decided that it would be best for them to make an emergency stop in Miami so that the lady can get transported to the hospital. In the end we landed in Miami, and the three people who helped out ended up doing something that ultimately saved the ladies life. The ambulance was on the runway as soon as we landed and took the lady away. My mom is amazing. Not only can she deal with me and my tomfoolery but she can save lives without hesitation.

Tales from public transportation part 2

The non cripple cripple guy
I have so many weird bus stories. One of the craziest times happened my Senior Year. At that time I had to go to work right after school, and to get to work I had to rely on public transportation. The bus wasn't that packed, so I was excited. One of my friends got on the bus and we ended up talking about something, until the guy came on the bus. Actually correction, he waited to come on the bus. The guy was in one of those motorized wheelchairs. He looked like he was homeless, crazy or perhaps all of the above. He tried to get his wheelchair on the bus but it wasn't fitting. Then it happened. The battery on his chair died before it was able to fit on the bus. The bus driver tried to move it but it wasn't working. The weirdest part happened when the guy GOT OUT OF HIS CHAIR…yes, I said it GOT OUT OF HIS CHAIR and attempted to move the chair himself. He was actually standing on two feet. My friend and I gave each other weird wtf looks while trying to contain our laughter. My friend and I decided to go over and give him a hand. There was this one ethpian broad who did absolutely nothing to help us out, but was so annoyed. I kinda wanted to tell her, "either help out or shut up, but if your not gonna help don't be a douche", but i didn't say that. Back to the guy. The chair smelled like piss and the guy kept going on and on about how he loves his wheelchair, and then my friend did something to the wiring and got the wheelchair running again…..and that is the story of the not cripple cripple guy

The Scariest time I ever had on public transportation
I impatiently waited at the bus stop, constantly looking at my watch hoping the number 8 would come as possible. Next to me stood a man who looked just as annoyed as me, so I decided to kill some time and start a conversation. The man introduced himself as Walter. He was a bit shorter than me and had the completion of a vampire. He was incredibly pale and looked sick. As we were talking I learned that he was dying. He had caught the AIDS virus from his girlfriend, and his life went from downhill from there. He told me how he went from being a high level accountant, to losing everything. As he described his situation to me I tried my best to encourage him, but it was hard. How could you tell someone that things can get better when all they see is the worst? How do you tell someone who gave up faith that God can change anything?
He even mentioned that the pain he's going through is so bad that he is planning to commit suicide. At this point I got scared because suicide is something to take seriously. Just as he said this, the bus came. I continued to encourage him to the best of my ability, but it was tough. We continued to talk until he got off the bus shortly after. Before he left he told me, “Make a positive change in the world. “Those words stayed with me though I haven't seen him since.
This experience taught me many lessons. This encounter with Walter showed me how truly blessed I actually am. I am alive, healthy, and blessed beyond belief. No matter how bad things can get there is always someone going through worse. This was such an important experience for me because at this time I was angry that I had to go to summer school, I felt constantly stressed, and felt like throwing in the towel. Meeting Walter gave me the opportunity to put my life in perspective and allowed me to realize that life, although it might have its ups and downs, is pretty excellent. This taught me that life is a gift that I should cherish and be thankful for. Ever since that day I refuse to complain. As bad as life can get sometimes, it can always be worse.

The drunk/crazy guy in Mattapan Square
This is kinda a public transportation story, but not really. I was walking out of the dentist's office and I was on my way to the T station. While I was walking I came across a crazy drunk guy. He looked at me and said, "you dont remember me huh? Well I know you". The thing is I didnt know the guy. He then told me to stay in school. I smiled and started walking away. Then a school bus full of kids passed by and the guy started screaming at the kids like ," YOU MOTHERF**KERS BETTER STAY IN SCHOOL!!" I was about to cross the street and then it hit me... I have (or at that time HAD a blackberry and could record video) and crazy people always say some entertaining things so I went up to the guy and started talking to him. He was scared that I was taking a picture of him, so i told him I wasnt. It was video so, I didnt lie to the guy lol The video is posted below. It cuts off rather randomly because he randomly went in for a hug (which I was not expecting) oh well...without further adue, heres the video




BONUS: HEres another video of a crazy singing guy my friends and I came across after work one day. The story is simple. We were at the bus stop and he told the girls in our group to "not give up their sweetness" and then went into a song...I have a few videos but heres the one where hes actually singing

Saturday, January 1, 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


Happy NEw YEar people. So happy and blessed to see another year. So many things coulda/woulda and shoulda went wrong but they didn't. There are so many people who arent able to say the same, and on top of that im a 19 year old in the hood without any serious drama or bulletholes thats even more amazing..granted its just another saturday, but any day above land is a blessing...I have big hopes for 2011 and hopefully it delivers, if not theres always 2012 lol

As far as my blog is concerned: In 2011 dont expect anything less than the usual shenanigans and tomfoolery, and on top of that Im working on a few new ideas which you all would see later on this year...This blog has only been up for 6 months and I dont wanna brag but its doing pretty good lol. Thank you to all of you who checked it out and spreaded the word (yes i used the word spreaded..dont like it sue me), and even to the anonymous person who called me gay (hey at least they checked it out) My goal for this year is to add some new content, on a consistent basis and also just get the name out there...Anyway Im gonna get back to doing what I do

btw black weblog awards is posting this thing up about me sometime this month, so when it comes out ill post it up. Thank you again for the support and stuff. Feedback is always welcome. Even if you hate it and dont agree with me feel free to comment, I dont get offended. Also spread the word of Kevinskewlkorner.blogspot.com