Thursday, October 7, 2010

Tales from public transportation

As some of you know, i take public transportation a lot. I have my license but at this point its kinda cheaper for me to take the mbta(public transportation here in boston) than drive. Anyway public transportation is full of weirdos and shenanigans. I have seen so many things on the mbta and here are just a few of these crazy stories:

Old guy + crackhead +knife= fun for all
One day I was comming back from work and I was on the 23. For those who arent familiar with the mbta, the 23 is a bus filled with hoodrats, crazy people and non-stop tomfoolery. A quiet bus ride on the 23 is as common as an eclipse... Anyway the bus was crowded and the only space I could get was standing room near the back of the bus. In the back of the bus there was a lady on her phone and a crackhead(and a bunch of other people) The bus made a sudden stop and the crackhead accidentally stepped on the lady's foot. The lady told the person she was on the phone with to hang on and then proceeded to say loudly at the crackhead,"you aint gonna say excuse me or nothing?!" the crackhead responded with something along the lines of "shut up b*tch!" they continued to argue for a few more min until the lady got off the bus. When you thought the arguement would end here goes the crackhead like," you better move on b*tch" he continued to yell cuss words and insults at her(she got of the bus mins prior) then ths old guy calmly says to the crackhead, "can you please stop swearing there are kids on the bus?". The crackhead didnt seem to listen and kept going on with his rant. The old guy then asked him again, no change. The third time he got up, and very few people saw it, but he grabbed a pocket knife off his waist and moved it to the other hand like it was OZ or something and grabbed the crackhead by the neck and was close to stabbing him when..people started backing up and getting off the bus. The bus driver thought there was a fight going on and kicked them both out(not seeing the knife). After they were both kicked off the guy attempted to stab the guy again..Just when that happened the bus pulled off. Never seen the crackhead again(but you hardly see crackheads more than twice anyway)

The guy who wanted to bag me
It was another long day at work from another job and I hopped on the train. It was pretty late at night so I was one of three people on the platform. One of the people there was this big black guy that looked like the guy from the blindside movie+yogi bear lol. It was pretty silent and then he asked me the time. I told him the time and started listening to music. Then my psp with my music died, leaving me open to annoying conversations and stupid noises. The train came and I hopped on it(wow that sounds weird considering im talking about a guy who wanted to bag me lol) anyway I was sitting on the train and the guy turns to me and asks me some stupid question .Then he started asking me my name(which i lied about), my school, my grade, blah blah blah..It got weird when he asked me stuff like: am i single? and do i have sex? and stuff like that. Then the train pulled into a tunnel. You know how you could see your reflection in the window across from you when a train goes into a tunnel? well i looked at the window and what I saw was something I would never forget. The guy was staring at me and he puled out a can of axe and started spraying himself(all the while looking at me) He then asked me where I live and asked me for my number..Thank God it was my stop! When the doors opened I walked lickity split out the station. And like a bad horror movie I turned around and the guy was following me. Note I just came from a long day of work the last thing I wanted to do is fight. So i crossed the street and then I saw him look back and forth for a while and gave up. That is the second time a guy attempted to bag me and the first time I legit thought I was gonna get raped. I felt like katt williams at the end of friday after next lol.

Stink box in my face(ewwwwww)
Well i was going to work,and the bus was crowded. The only seat I could get was near the rear door.Right as I sit down and get comfy I smell this HORRID smell.There was a fat chick who was standing right in front of me and he box smelled so bad!! You can smell it through her pants it was that strong. It smelled like ghandi mixed with dead hopes and dreams. I tried my best not to make a face or gag and then it happened. The bus made a sudden stop in front of stop and shop and(you know how whwn a bus stops and you go forward and quickly fall back?) Well that happened to her. Her ass went two inches away from my face. You could call her a walking hearse because she was carrying a box of death. It was so hard not to throw up. Then she gave me this slutty smile( the type of smile that said "I know you want this") and walked off. That smell lingered in the bus till i got off took a big breath of fresh air and Thanked God for it....That was one of the worst smells I have EVER smelled

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